Dear players, management, and fans of the Houston Astros:

I agree that you got jobbed when you were forced to play us last weekend in Miller Park.  Anyone who knows baseball must realize that 99% of the fans who would show up there would be rooting for us.  It was a move marked by a lack of imagination, sensitivity, and certainly fueled by greed.

However, it has been over a week, and the whining and bitching coming from your neck of the woods has NOT abated; in fact, it is just getting louder.  It is time that you accept a few facts:

1) Where in the name of our Lord do you think you could have held this game and NOT drawn more Cubs fans than Astros fans?? I bet we could outdraw y'all in ARLINGTON!  Hell, we outdraw you in your OWN dumpy little juicebox.

2) It was two games out of 162.  You are going to miss the playoffs by more than two games.  Your first half of the season was pitifully crappy, and you dug a hole too deep to cover up.

3) IF you actually did make the playoffs, as a Wild Card, and even IF you won your round of the NLDS, we would slice and dice you up like the carrots you are.  So what the hell are you whining about, anyway?

Now shut up and go haul that waterlogged sofa out of your basement.  It stinks to high heaven.  Use one part Clorox to one part water to scrub the grunge off yer walls.

Sincerely,

Rob Letterly

The Uncouth Sloth

Houston's got to be pissed.  There they were, on a ridiculous hot streak, beating teams left and right, and suddenly a hurricane named Ike and a commissioner named Bud brought their party to a screeching halt.

2 games and 18 innings later, the Astros achieved a whopping solitary hit while the Cubs took advantage of how the neutral series ground was actually Wrigley North.

In today's annihilation, Ted Lilly threw 7 innings on 85 pitches.  He allowed 1 hit - only 1! - walked 1 Astro, and struck out 9.  And while Lilly was mowing them down, the Cubs offense delivered on some big hits.  Jim Edmonds hit his 18th homerun of the year, Derrek Lee smacked number 19, and Geovany Soto hit his 22nd.  But the best part about it - all but 1 of the homeruns hit today had runners on.

It is true that Lou Piniella tried to make things interesting late in the game.  He called on Samardzija, who only recorded 1 out while walking 2.  More dastardly, Lou turned to Bob Howry in the 9th.  I remarked at the time to Jon Miller that Lou was trying to turn it into a save situation for Kerry Wood.

Series Recap: Perhaps the best, single word to describe this series is "surreal."  The Cubs played a road series against Houston in Milwaukee, where they proceeded to obliterate the formerly hottest team in baseball while turning around an abysmal downward spiral that had led more than one Cub fan into jumping off the ledge.

More importantly, after going 1-8 during a stretch that began on August 30th and ended on September 9th, the Cubs have gone 5-2 from a stretch beginning on Sept 6 to tonight.  The Cubs are also riding another winning streak, this one at 4 games, and they find themselves in the position of landing the death blow against the flailing Brewers, who could be eliminated as soon as Thursday.

It's a cool situation, really.  Here we were, panicking about how the Cubs would have a rough road this month, including 6 against the "surgin' Brewers," and now we are looking at it from the other end.  The Cubs are in position to keep the Brewers out of the playoffs all together.

Current Record: 90-58
Position in the NL Central: 1st place, 8 games in front of Milwaukee and 10.5 ahead of Houston
Best Possible Record: 104-58
Worst Possible Record: 90-72
On Pace For: 98-64
Magic Number: 6, as powered by CubsMagicNumber.com

The Tribune reported earlier today that the Cubs-Astros series remains up in the air.  Although structural damage did not occur at the Juice Box, the Cubs are apparently refusing to fly down to Houston until no earlier than Monday.

In his post, Goat Reader Luke mentions the possibility of a game played in Atlanta.

I don't really care where they play, so long as they do it soon.  The ironic thing is that Alfonso Soriano said a bit ago that the negative of the extra time off is that the Cubs might lose their rythym.

Uh, Fonz, you've lost like 7 of your last 10.  I'm just saying.

The Astros, meanwhile, are one of the hottest teams out there.  Seems like the time off could be more of a negative to them than it might be to the Cubs.

Update: The Tribune is reporting that two games have been scheduled in - of all places - Milwaukee.  Goat Friend Paul Sullivan writes:

The Cubs and Houston Astros will play two games in Milwaukee, one on Sunday night at 7:05 and the other Monday afternoon at 1:05. The Astros will be the home team.

Luckily for Houston, the Cubs are unlikely to get a large crowd of fans willing to drive from Chicago to Milwaukee in order to see two extra Cub games.  Equally fortunate for the Astros, the Cubs haven't shown a tenacity at winning ballgames in Milwaukee this year.

Put it to you another way: score.

First, before anything else, let me thank the New York Mets, who swept the Brewers.  Because of the Mets, the Cubs maintain a 4.5 game lead on the second place team in the division.

Second, I will again point out that a slump had to be expected.  

Those two things out of the way, I am in full-blown, sick to my stomach panic mode.  It's not that I'm not expecting the Cubs to reach the playoffs, because I am positive they will.  It's not even that I think the Brewers will creep in and take the division, because I would be shocked if they do.  The pressing concern for me is the stark realization that any team can swing from unrelenting momentum directly into a gut-wrenching slide.  If the Cubs can lose 5 straight games, and if in 4 of those 5 losses they combine to score 5 runs in total, then my question becomes this: what's stopping them from doing that in October?

At this point, the only way the Cubs will address my concerns is by winning the crap out of their remaining games.  Yep, that's right. "Winning the crap out of their remaining games."  For those of you who speak and understand English rather than Kurtytalk, "winning the crap" means "playing dominantly."  With 22 games remaining, the Cubs will need to win close to that epic number of 15 in order for me to feel less concerned.  They will need to step up and dominate the Cardinals and Brewers, and they will also need to extract revenge from the Astros in Houston.

Will they be able to do that?  I think we'll know within the next week or so.  We may know as soon as the end of their upcoming series with the Reds.  But if the Cubs fail to pull out of this dive they're in, playoffs or not, it will become an October of Diminished Expectations.

Oh, and because this is supposed to be a Game Recap: Cubs lost 4-0.  The offense got shut down again.  Dempster didn't do badly, but something has gone horribly wrong with the hitting.  My thoughts on this, if not evidently clear already ... fix it soon, guys.  Fix it soon.

Let's play a game of Good News, Bad News.

Good News: Carlos Zambrano was throwing 96MPH last night.

Bad News: He left early because he wasn't feeling well. The implication is that it's an arm problem. The good news is that the Cubs are deep enough to pitch through a short series without him, but the bad news is that they have to be less likely to succeed, I mean, that can't be contested. That said, I personally suspect that he'll be ok, they'll give him half the month off, he'll come back and throw a few tune-up starts and be ready for October.

Good News: The offense came alive last night. Homeruns by Soriano, Soto, and Edmonds led the charge.

Bad News: Lou Piniella has an addiction to Bob Howry and he turned to him again last night. Howry gave up 4 earned runs without recording an out and he is ultimately to blame for last night's loss. Somebody needs to have an intervention with Piniella, maybe with graphs and charts showing Lou how damaging too much Howry can be.

Good News: The Cubs were able to come from behind and tie up the game in the 7th inning.

Bad News: They couldn't seal the deal and failed to capitalize on late inning and extra inning opportunities. This includes Piniella giving Casey McGehee his first ever major league at bat in a clutch situation, ignoring Micha Hoffpauir who was also on the bench and has been an insanely good hitter this year.

Bad News: Piniella also turned to his two best relievers for 4 innings. Marmol pitched 2 and Wood pitched 2, despite the bullpen being replenished and having Jon Lieber, who in theory could have thrown 4 innings on his own.

In other words, I'm ultimately blaming Lou for last night's debacle. The Cubs could have won the game, but there were a number of bad-if-not-all-out weird calls made by the manager. But, hey, he wins them more games than he loses them, let's just call it a senior moment and move on.

Good News: Milwaukee lost too, leaving the Cubs with a 4.5 game lead despite their 4 game skid. I said it before, I'll say it again - they were absolutely due for one more slide this season. This is it. They will climb out of it and we'll all have a chuckle in October saying "hey, remember when they lost 4 in a row to start September and we were all kind of crapping our pants?"

I look forward to that day. I long for that day. It's coming.

Before you sneak your big toe back out onto the ledge, I'd like to hit you with a few things.

1. The Cubs are still 7-3 in their last 10 played.
2. A week ago, I predicted that they'd have one more slump before the playoffs, and I said "please let it be early in the month, rather than later." Hopefully this is it.
3. Jason Marquis lost today. Ignore his stat line. Just remember those four words: Jason Marquis lost today. Are you surprised?

All that said, I've reached a point in the season in which every Cubs loss makes me nervous. It's hard for me to practice what I've preached, and a loss today just adds to my ball of stress. The Cubs offense has looked pretty dead ever since Pittsburgh left town. Thankfully, they're taking on a couple of punching bags tomorrow and Wednesday, but I've got that Rob-like mentality that says "waitasecond, if the Cubs can lose three games straight with next-to-no offense, what's stopping them from doing the same thing next month?"

It's an unhappy thought. Here's to hoping that Carlos Zambrano makes us feel happier tomorrow.

As I write this, the Cubs are trailing 1-0.  Jason Marquis has done well, but clearly not well enough, and the Cubs are being 1-hit by Roy Oswalt.  Oops, make that 2-nil, but at least the Mets are beating the Brewers.

Anyway.  It is now September.  The Brewers play an easy schedule this month and will aim to continue their surge against the Cubs.  The Cubs, meanwhile, are a good month away from their first 100-win season since FDR was President.  However, in order to do that they will need to kick off this month by playing a team that would be playoff bound if only they were in the NL West.  I'm talking about the Houston Astros, the definitive example of why the NL Central is the hardest division in baseball this year.  

At 71-66, the Astros are 14 games out of 1st place and 10 games out of the Wild Card.  Their job this month will be to play spoiler.  They take on the Cubs 6 times this month.  Let's take a look at the specific match-ups:

Monday, September 1 - Jason Marquis (9-7, 4.46 ERA) vs. Roy Oswalt (12-9, 4.06 ERA)

Jason Marquis is trying for his 10th win of the season, but he's doing it against Astros ace Roy Oswalt.  Now, I know that there isn't a Cub fan out there who'd feel the slightest bit of good if the Cubs lose their 3rd straight today, but let's just try to keep some perspective.  Jason Marquis is pitching.  

Roy Oswalt is having a respectable year, but the Cubs should really be scoring more runs against him than they are.  Maybe they'll crank it up a notch in the middle innings, but I always get a little uncomfortable when they look offensively ... well, average.  Lately, that's all they've been, if not sub-par.

Tuesday, September 2 - Carlos Zambrano (13-5, 3.53 ERA) vs. Brandon Backe (9-12, 5.42 ERA)

Carlos Zambrano hates Augusts the way some of us hate Mondays.  He's been having a rough go of it as of late, but let us not forget that he would pitch with a knife sticking out of his right forearm, and he'd probably pitch well.  He may be having some weird arm issues this year, but I am confident that the Moose will rediscover his groove sometime before the end of the month.  Maybe it'll be tomorrow.

If Carlos is going to struggle, though, he drew the big straw in his pitching opponent, Brandon Backe.  Maybe Lou did it intentionally - saving Carlos for a game where he can probably afford to cough up a few runs in the 4th or 5th, as the Cubs offense should feast on Backe.   

Wednesday, September 3 - Ryan Dempster (15-5, 2.95 ERA) vs. Randy Wolf (8-11, 4.73 ERA)

Ryan Dempster has, from the purely statistical perspective, become the team ace this season.  He has pitched effectively from the first game to the last, and he seems very capable of reaching 18 on the season.  His opponent on Wednesday will be Randy Wolf, one of several Astros pitcher who make Jason Marquis look like a blessing.  It's really quite surprising that Houston has managed to win 71 games this season when you consider the tools they've been working with.  

Predictions: The best thing about the Cubs: it`s really not over for them until the final out.  They are presently being one-hit by Oswalt, but sooner or later the bats will come out and runs will be scored.  

As I said earlier, nobody wants to see the Cubs extend their current little losing streak.  The Astros are a tough team, but the Cubs are a better one and they could and should take this series.  Being realistic, if the Cubs do lose a game, it will be today`s, but there`s no reason for that to happen.  Chicago could and should put up some runs against Oswalt and the Astros bullpen.

In the meantime, the Mets beat the Brewers today.  No ground will be gained.  Let`s hope that the Cubs are watching the scoreboard and that they understand how beneficial it will be to explode for a 7-spot in the 6th inning.  And they may need that many, because Jason Marquis is having his 5th Inning Self Destruct as this is written.

Hey Jason, relax.  You`ve got another year on your deal, you`re not going to make the post season roster no matter what you do, and the Cubs can`t miss the playoffs because you suck.  With the pressure off your back, just go out there, throw some strikes, and let the magic happen.  Sound like a plan? 

If you were a Cubs fan who has lived through 1974, 1980, 1997, 1999, 2000, 2002, and 2006, then you have seen in this season a Cubs team that's won more games than any of those other Cub teams from those years in 47 fewer games played. Imagine that - the Cubs in the first week of August have already eclipsed Chicago teams that belong in our worst baseball nightmares. It shouldn't give us a feeling of accomplishment; we should be outraged that the Cubs have given us so many wasted seasons.

However, let's take comfort in this - it may not end in the achievment of the ultimate goal, but 2008 does not appear to be another one of those hopeless, wasted years. At the very least, this Cubs team should reach the playoffs, quite possibly with the best record in the National League, and there's a simple reason why. These guys play good baseball and they get big hits. Today was another example of that.

Apparently, Lou Piniella does not read this Cubs blog, to my surprise. If he did, then he might realize the futility that comes with throwing strikes to Carlos "Cliff" Lee. When a Cubs pitcher throws strikes to Carlos Lee, the ball tends to wind up a long ways away from the catcher's mitt, usually by at least 400-or-so feet. In the 3rd inning today, after having surrendered an RBI to Lance Berkman, wonderful* Cubs pitcher Jason Marquis decided that Carlos Lee at the plate with runners on was the equivalent of No Bubbles, No Troubles. He proceeded to deliver to the Astros a 3-run lead on a silver tray, as Lee predictably smacked a 3-run shot into the atmosphere.

(*You don't think Marquis fits the definition of "wonderful?" C'mon, every time he pitches, aren't you filled with wonder about why Jim Hendry saw fit to give him a multi-year contract?)

But, hey, it was okay. It's just that kind of year for the Cubs. They score 4, the Cubs score 4 more. In the bottom of the 3rd, with 2 outs and 2 strikes against him, Mark DeRosa hit a clutch grand slam that was really just the opening card to the main event that is the continued dominance of Alfonso Soriano. (Phew, that sentence was a keyboard-full.) Soriano, who saw his second at bat of the inning thanks to a Fukudome double, a Soto walk, and, more impressive, a double by Marquis, hit another homerun, his 5th since returning from a broken hand*, putting the Cubs in the lead for good. I could almost hear the fight leave the Astros, which was a pretty impressive feat since I was working at the time and I could only follow the game through a sports ticker.

(*Rumor has it that broken hands often cause players to lose power. Maybe that's the case with Soriano, which makes me think that a fully healthy Fonz would be putting up Nintendo Numbers right now. As it is, he's already resembling Roy Hobbs. Luckily for him, Kim Basinger has hit the wall, so he won't have that temptation waiting to toss him back into a month-long slump.)

Au Naturale

The Cubs added on to their absurd score in the 4th, giving them 11 runs on the game. All told, the immense Chicago Juggernoffense (I'm coining that phrase, which I'm sure will not be contested since it's pretty lame) had 11 hits, drew 6 walks, and forced an average of 35 tears to trickle down the faces of most Astro fans out there. Jason Marquis went 6.1 innings, looked as mediocore as usual, but still was able to walk away with his 7th win of the season. All told, not a bad day ... or a bad series.

Series Recap:

If the Cubs are able to win 2 out of every 3 games they play this month, then they'll be in a pretty good position come September. As it is, they probably could have swept Houston, but the weather did not cooperate and apparently our Cubs preferred to lose in an offensive sputter rather than win while risking a lightning strike. It's okay, if your friends ask about the near-tornado, just tell them that it was the first seal of the apocalypse cracking open. Forgive me if I'm recycling a joke I've made about six times in the last two days.

The Cubs will now enjoy an off-day before hosting a 3-game set against St. Louis. The Cardinals are perilously on the brink of becoming a non-factor this season. If they lose tonight and tomorrow, then they will be 7 games out of 1st place, and a Cubs sweep will put them in Pittsburgh territory on the year. I'm not saying it'll happen, or even that it's likely to happen, but a Cub fan can wish, right? And, hey, it really might happen. It's just that kind of year.

Current Record: 69-46
Position in the NL Central: 1st place, 5 games in front of Milwaukee and 6 ahead of St. Louis
Best Possible Record: 116-46
Worst Possible Record: 69-93
On Pace For: 97-65
Magic Number: 43, as powered by CubsMagicNumber.com