I ain't happy, ain't been happy for awhile, and I ain't gonna be happy, I reckon

I haven't posted in awhile, maybe you've noticed. I figured, based on the state I have been in, what's the point?

My subject line refers primarily to the Cubs, but also to the whole internets at large.  I'll go off topic for a sec. 

Byron gets an e-mail from the Sun-Times wanting to know about Great Fan Rooms in people's houses.  He very thoughtfully forwards it to me.  I send my flickr album to the Bright One, I don't hear JACK back about it.  In the meantime, I keep seeing these other places which just PALE in comparison to the Mendotan Basement of Man Cub Love.  Then, Kurt gets an e-mail from a 'legit' sportswriter from a 'legit' sports.com, soliciting stories on how "average" Cubs fans got to be Cubs fans. (This portion has been edited to preserve a certain level of confidentiality that I promised I would keep).  Kurt thoughtfully forwards it to me.  I send the guy my story, and while the guy DID write back, he mentions that my story loses out to those written by Billy Corgan and Bonnie Hunt.  Average Cub fans, my ass.  I mean, what the HELL do I gotta do to get some love out thurr?

So anyway, back to the topic at hand, I'm pretty dim dam discouraged with the state of our ballclub, as well as the state of the Providers of Internet Content, whomever they may be, so me no writey.

I mean, if YOU want to be encourage about our two-game lead over the Brewers, go ahead.  Certainly Windsock Jay is.  If you want to feel good about where the Cubs are at, I guess I am not the guy to tell you otherwise.  If you can enjoy the journey, on the way to the destination, then God bless you, for you can practice what He preaches.

Not me, gatdammit.  This here deal, to me, sucks.

When the Cubs were coming back from 8 run deficits against Colorado, never losing at home, sweeping fools and playing the goofy-ass song every day, I felt better about things.  And YES, sure, most seasons aren't going to be like that from wall-to-wall.  And YES, sure, most teams, even the winning teams, don't dominate from day one to the end.  And YES, citing recent history, the 2004 Red Sox came back from a 3-0 ALCS deficit against the Yankees, down late in game 4, In The Apple, and ended up winning.  And the 2005 Sux looked like crap the last two weeks in September before going, what, 11-1 in the playoffs?  And the 2006 Deadbirds won like 83 regular season games before going on a tear at the end.

YES, other teams do these things.  YES, I suppose it is possible that the 2008 Chicago Cubs are going to grind out a World Championship, by doing little things like beating CC Sabbath on a Monday nite.  I suppose that I shouldn't be mad at Kerry Wood for missing a month over a gatdamn finger blister.  I shouldn't be mad at Kosuke Fukudome for looking like a gatdamn sillyass swan three times a game, swinging at pitches an inch about his shoelaces. I shouldn't be mad at Lee and Ramirez and Soriano for collectively making outs every single time they bat for an entire week.

Whatever deal Marmol had with the Devil has run its course.  Howry has forgotten how to pitch, it seems.  Anyone seen Scott Eyre, besides the side of a milk carton?  And Lou is spending all his man love on a former Golden Domer who has pitched, what, four major league innings?  He's the Savior?  Just because he's on a first name basis with Touchdown Jeezus doesn't mean he's the cure to our baseball team.

Other teams have overcome such obstacles.  Casual baseball fans think this.  Reasonable baseball fans think this.  Objective baseball fans think this.  Logical baseball fans think this.

I don't put stock in ANY of it.

If the Cubs were meant to gut one out, why the hell did they piss 1969 away?  When they came back even better in 1970, what happened then?  Why did they then piss away huge leads in 1971 and 1972?  When the Mets won only 82 friggin' games to win the East in 1973, where were the Cubs?  Why did they waste the entire careers of FOUR, yes, FOUR Hall-Of-Fame players on the SAME damn roster?  (Yes, I am counting Santo). 

When they went THIRTY freakin' games over 500 in 1977, how the HELL did they end up blowing that ENTIRE cushion?  When they simply annihiliated the Padres in the first two games of the NLCS in 1984, how could they possibly manage not to win a single one of the three remaining?  Why couldn't they "gut" anything out in 1989, 1998?  Why did we keep throwing ripe cheese to Garvey and Will Clark? We wasted the Hall-Of-Fame careers of Sandberg AND Maddux. 

When God gave us the Golden Geese, laid them in our laps, how did we screw up Wood AND Prior?  With the same task at hand in 2003, win one game out of three for the NLCS, AND Home Field Advantage, how the fee-yuck do they fritter that away?  With the most powerful team in Cubs History in 2004, AND the Five Aces, AND THIS MAY BE THE MOST DREADFUL FAILURE OF THEM ALL, how could they not even eek out a Wild Card?  Last year, with the Great Lou Pinella at the helm, with a Substantial Talent Advantage, we get swept by a bunch of no-names, and it wasn't even close.

You want to know why I am not happy?  Yes, casual, sensible, sane, knowledgeable, logical people can point to a whole armful of nice, wonderful things about our ballclub.  There are analyses of every type, everywhere, that paint rosy pictures about the Cubs' immediate future. 

It ain't enough.  Not for me.  Unless I know, for absolute certain, cross my heart and hope to die, bet the mortgage, swear on your mother's grave, cold stone-pipe-lock guarantee that the Cubs are going to win every single last game between TODAY and the END OF OCTOBER, I won't be happy.  And kids, I ain't feelin' it.

When it comes to the Cubs, life ain't a Journey...it's a Destination.  Is that backwards?  Is that the wrong way to be?  Is that insane?  Is that just infantile, moronic, juvenile, psychotic.....is that wack??  Does that make me a Bad Person?

Yeah, well, f you, then.  When this is all said and done, and we're sitting at home AGAIN this fall, watching some OTHER mopes jump up and down, don't look at ME.  Don't even EYEBALL me.  I ain't gonna be in the mood for you.  I'll swing for your face, and try to rip yer eyes out.

In Defense of Sweet Lou - as if he needs it

Kurtis, Kurtis....how could you have forsaken thee?

I love Uncle Lou with every fiber of my body, except maybe my pee pee.  I have agreed with everything he has done in his tenure, INCLUDING his Game 1 decision with Zambrano, INCLUDING his decision to leave Marmol in there last week, and especially including his decision to bring him out there yesterday in the ninth.

Kurt is convinced that Marmol's problems are fatigue-related, which explains his stance that Lou is running him into the ground, which explains why he would drop an (edited) f-bomb in his name.  For shame!!  Que cosa!  As my high school Spanish teacher would say.  Ya lo crea!  The idea of swearing at Uncle Lou..

..lookee here.  Kerry Wood is going on the disabled list, backdated a week, so we will not have him around for the next two series.  We are playing probably the "best" performers of the "rest" of the National League, the D-backs and the Fighting Fish.  We have traditionally needed all hands on deck against these two foes - these will be tough series, in which a closer will be necessary.

The short term answer is to bring in Howry - which is what most of us so-called internet GMs would advocate.  I guarantee you that Lou is fully aware that Bob Howry has closing experience, and that he is available.   He isn't the greatest closer ever, either, you know.  Plus, he's 37 or so...is he the Future of the Cubs Bullpen? 

No.  Marmol is.  And contrary to Kurt, I am as convinced as he is about what might be wrong with Marmol, and in my view, it ain't fatigue.  It's all about Confidence, and the man that SHOULD know the most about it, Lou Pinella, seems to agree with me.

Eventually, Lou knows that the kid is going to be the closer, sooner or later.  It would be nice for all of us to imagine the 31-year-old Wood settling in for a nice 8-year-run as the Cubs closer, ala Eckersley, Hoffman, Percival, and some other guys you can name who closed close to their 40's.  It ain't gonna happen.  If it isn't blistered fingers, sore shoulders or gamey elbow ligaments, it will be something else with Wood (who I love), but is more of a emotional, "dealing with adversity with class" hero than a "performing physical feats on the field of play" hero.

Smart baseball men do not count on Kerry Wood to hold positions of grave importance on their rosters.

Thus, we need to groom Marmol sooner or later.  But which one is it, sooner or later?  Do we throw him out there this week in ninth inning save situations?  Is he ready?  Will he succeed, and close out vital games in this 2008 pennant run, bolster his confidence, and gain vital experience for 2009, 2010, or whenever he becomes the full-time closer?  Or does he blow the games for us, dropping us out of the NL Central lead, and shred whatever confidence he has left?  How do we know?  How COULD we know?

Welllll.....we could hook him up to a simulator on a PS3, let him take the controls for a ninth inning save.  OR, we could send him down to Iowa to let him save a game there?  OR, maybe we run him out in the ninth inning yesterday.  I understand that none of these situations are ideal, but which one of the three will most closely simulate the type of action he should expect in a major league save situation, while at the same time be logistically feasible, and, oh incidentally, helps us close out a win we desperately needed to salvage an otherwise depressing series coming out of the All-Star Break?

If Marmol went out yesterday and crapped himself in a Hawkins-esque fashion, then all Lou has to do is send in Cotts or Howry to clean up, and he pretty much has his answer as to: 1) whether Marmol is ready to close this next week, and 2) how close is he to becoming the full-time Closer of the Future.  Because if you have some tissue attached to your brain stem, and if you read this here blog, you must know by now that Closing is about 10% physical and 90% mental, and if you doubt that, then tell me how the hell Rod Beck was able to log 53 saves in 1998 with a piece of raw fish hanging from his right shoulder joint?

Lou isn't just paid to win in 2008 - he has to know how he is going to do it next year, too.  He needs to know exactly what he has in Marmol.  He KNOWS he can throw caked-on-dirty sliders...but he needs to find out once and for all what he has between his huge Mickey Mouse ears, and also what he has hanging in his jock.

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